Full disclosure: I’m not a fan of Valentine’s Day (despite it being on my birthday). Typically, when you think of Valentine’s Day, you think about romantic love: couples kissing and giving each other gifts, cheesy romantic comedies on television and of course, Hallmark cards and candy. But I’ve also noticed something a bit weird about the holiday. While it’s supposed to be about celebrating love, it seems to alienate one group of people: singles.

When it comes to Valentine’s Day, singles are often excluded. If you want an example, just go online. There are plenty of memes about being single on Valentine’s Day. It’s kind of ironic that a holiday all about love can create such self-hatred. So, in the spirit of compassion and caring, I want to ask you to love yourself on the holiday. You might be wondering why.

Well, as I get older, I notice more and more people feeling down on Valentine’s Day. Maybe it’s over the lack of gifts or a lack of attention from someone you care about. Either way, it’s hard to see people hurting over a holiday meant to inspire kindness to others. And in order to be kind to others, it helps to be kind to yourself. I know it sounds cheesy, but self-love (and self-confidence) is important. Instead of moping about being single, go hang out with a friend if you don’t want to be alone on Valentine’s Day. Watch TV, go get snacks. This could be a great way to build a close relationship. Valentine’s Day may be on a Wednesday this year, but you can still go out of your way to have fun.

You could also do something for someone else. Support a local charity. Hand out meals in a soup kitchen, write letters to the elderly or give support to someone in need. It’ll help someone else and also help you feel great.

There’s no shortage of things to help you love yourself on Valentine’s Day. Even though I’m not a fan of the commercial side of the day, I want to encourage people to treat themselves kindly. So today, go out and do something to love yourself and others.