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What happens the morning after? Will we get closer? Or will I feel like I just made a big mistake?

The “morning after” usually refers to what happens after two people have sex. Having sex could mean oral sex, anal sex or vaginal sex. And what happens the morning after usually depends on what happens the night before.

If you and your partner have had open and honest discussions about the decision to have sex beforehand, you should be able to discuss it and be open about how you are feeling after. Sharing your feelings with your partner, in addition to sharing the physical intimacy of having sex, can definitely make you feel closer. There is also a better chance of feeling good about the experience, if you used a condom to reduce the risk of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). Practicing safer sex means you have to worry less about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and, if you are having vaginal sex, an unplanned pregnancy. But sex won’t automatically bring you closer. Knowing this, you’ll probably feel better if you and your partner ask yourselves some important questions before making the decision to have sex. Here are some questions for you both to consider:

  • Why do I want to have sex?
  • What does having sex mean to me?
  • Does having sex fit with my values?
  • Is this a one-time thing or do I see us having a relationship?
  • If I see us in a relationship, what sort of relationship do I want?

If you want different things—one of you wants casual sex and the other wants a commitment, for example—you may decide that sex isn’t the best thing for you to share. It’s also important to talk about other possible outcomes of having sex. These include pregnancy and/or STDs, including HIV. Some questions to ask yourselves include the following:

  • How would you feel if you got an STD from your partner or your partner got one from you?
  • If you are having vaginal sex, what would you do if you or your partner became pregnant?

Once you’ve made the decision with your partner to have sex, no matter what kinds of behaviors you’re going to engage in, there are a couple more questions to ask yourselves:

  • What kinds of protection do we need to use?
  • Who will buy the protection we need?
  • What will we do if it fails?

For more information on getting birth control and preventing the transmission of STDs, find a clinic near you, or call 1-800-230-PLAN (7526) to be connected to a Planned Parenthood near you.

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