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What happens the morning after? Will we get closer? Or will I feel like I just made a big mistake?

The “morning after” usually refers to what happens after two people have sex. It usually depends on what happens the night before.

If you and your partner have talked about the decision to have sex, your entire experience together will be something you can discuss and be open about. And if you practice safer sex (like condoms and/or birth control), there’s a better chance of feeling good about the experience after it happens because be able to worry less about sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and, if you are a heterosexual couple, an unplanned pregnancy. Sex won’t automatically bring you closer. Knowing this, you’ll probably feel better if you and your partner ask yourselves some important questions before making the decision to have sex, such as:

  • Why do I want to have sex?
  • What does having sex mean to me?
  • Does having sex fit with my values?
  • Is this a one-time thing or do I see us having a relationship?
  • If I see us in a relationship, what sort of relationship do I want?

If you want different things—one of you wants casual sex and the other wants a commitment, for example—you may decide that sex isn’t the best thing for you to share. It’s also important to talk about other possible outcomes of having sex. These include pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including HIV. Some questions to ask yourselves include:

  • What would you do if you or your partner became pregnant?
  • How would you feel if you got an STD from your partner or your partner got one from you?

If you are a heterosexual couple, you want to think about preventing pregnancy as well as STDs. If you’re a lesbian or gay couple, you want to think about preventing STDs. Some questions to ask yourselves include:

  •  What kinds of protection do we need to use?
  • Who will buy the protection we need?
  • What will we do if it fails?

For more information on getting birth control and preventing the transmission of STDs, find a clinic near you or call 1-800-230-PLAN (7526) to be connected to a Planned Parenthood near you.

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