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What are the pros and cons of adoption? Who can help me make the decision about whether or not to choose adoption for my child?

There are many pros and cons to think about. Here’s our list of things to take into consideration.

Possible Pros

  • Adoption is an option for people who feel unready or unable to raise a child at this time but can’t get an abortion or don’t want to have one.
  • Some birth parents that choose adoption do so because they feel adoption provides their child with a loving, stable home and parent(s) or guardian(s) who have the financial resources to support a child.
  • There is also the possibility of kinship adoption where a family member, like a sibling, parent or grandparent, actually adopts and raises the child. That way, the child remains in the extended family, so there’s an increased chance that you can have a lot of contact and a relationship with your child.

Possible Cons

  • Choosing adoption means being pregnant for nine months and then giving custody of the child to someone else. This can be very traumatic.
  • In the case of a closed adoption—when the birth mother’s contact information is kept private—some adopted children wish to meet their birth parents, and vice versa. Some find each other after long searches and develop meaningful relationships; others find the person and, for a variety of reasons, never establish a relationship. Still others never find their parent or child. For some parents or children, that can be upsetting or challenging to imagine or deal with.

You are the person who has to live with your decision to place your child for adoption, become a teen parent or get an abortion. It’s important to make sure you get the support you need to make this important decision in a way that’s right for you.

It can help to talk to a trusted adult, parent or guardian during this process. A counselor or therapist can help you to sort out your feelings and to help you make the best decision for you.

You can find a counselor in several ways:

  • A family planning clinic, such as Planned Parenthood at 1-800-230-PLAN (7526)
  • Health Department centers or social services
  • Mental health center or family service agency (search online for “social services,” “family social services” or “family counseling services” in your area or zip code)

A counselor’s job is to help you sort out your feelings, so you can make a decision that feels right for you. Even if the counselor has strong feelings about adoption, abortion or teen parenting, they should not try to influence your decision. If you ever feel like your counselor is biased or is not providing you with a balanced environment to sort out your feelings, try to find another person to help you. This decision is entirely yours.

Crisis pregnancy centers” offer misleading and medically inaccurate information about abortion in order to convince women to choose adoption. Check out staff writer Elizabeth Gyori’s story about crisis pregnancy centers to learn more about her experience.

PregnancyOptions.info can help you come up with more pros and cons for yourself.

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