My partner is pressuring me to take drugs or get drunk before we have sex. What should I do? What should I say?
Alcohol can make someone feel less uncomfortable and less inhibited—which can be really bad in a sexual situation. Ask…
Read FAQ »It’s normal for people to start thinking about having sex when they reach their teen years. Puberty makes people curious and more aware of their sexual feelings and other people’s sexuality. Sometimes these feelings can be overwhelming, and people think they have to act on them to get them to go away. This isn’t true.
Even though you may feel turned on or like you want to have sex, it doesn’t mean you are ready to have sex. There is a lot more to having a good sexual experience than just feeling desire or being curious about what sex might feel like. It is important to also have a healthy and trusting relationship with a partner before you have any kind of sexual experience.
There are a lot of good things and bad things that can result from having sex. Sex is just one of many ways to share intimacy with a partner, but it also has serious consequences, like getting pregnant or getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD). If someone isn’t ready for sex, they might feel regret later or realize that they didn’t make a good decision and wish they could change it.
Some teens find that masturbation can help release their sexual feelings if they become a distraction. Masturbation is when someone touches their own body for sexual pleasure. It can sometimes result in orgasm, but doesn’t have to.
Eventually, you will decide when you are ready to be sexual with a partner. At that point, be sure you can talk openly with your partner so that you can explain what you do or don’t want to do. For example, maybe you feel comfortable kissing and rubbing with clothes on, but don’t want to do anything else. Both partners need to know each other’s limits so that no one feels forced, uncomfortable or regrets something the next day.
Someday you will feel ready for sex. Many teens wait until they’ve graduated from high school or are in a certain kind of committed relationship, like being in love, being with a person for a certain amount of time or being married. When you think you’re ready, talk to friends, parents or someone you trust to talk about the decision. Take time to talk to your partner about it, too, and make sure it is what they also want.
Most likely, if you take time to make sure you are ready for sex, then it will feel good and you won’t regret it later. And isn’t that the point?