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Christian College Values Clash With the Realities of Hooking Up

By , 18, Contributor Originally Published: August 21, 2013 Revised: August 22, 2013

I always knew that I wanted to go to college. I chose a Christian college because I wanted to be around people who shared my faith. I wanted to grow in my faith, and I wanted to experience academic life in a Christian setting. I had attended public school since third grade and had not been at a private Christian school since second grade. I also wanted to be able to focus on my schoolwork without drunken parties and Greek life to distract me from the education that I was investing so much time and money in.

I knew college would bring changes, but I looked forward to the new adjustments. When I got to college, I found it was different than I had expected, yet wonderful. My relationships, class schedule and living situation all changed in completely new and exciting ways. The fact that I was in different buildings all day long was definitely a change, but a great one! It was also such a blessing to be able to attend the college of my choice with some awesome new friends by my side. Even though this all sounds lovely, I did mention that there were some changes I did not expect. So, how do issues regarding sex change from a public high school to a Christian college?

Although these rules seem super strict, people find ways to get around them, just like any other rule.

Hooking Up Despite the Rules

I attend a Christian college in rural Pennsylvania that has a stricter set of rules compared to most other colleges. There are visiting hours, which are designated times when members of a different sex are allowed to be in your hallway and in your room. Along with visiting hours, certain rules apply when having someone of a different sex over: doors must be open, all feet have to be on the floor and the lights must be on. These rules do not apply when having members of the same sex in rooms or in the hallways. But this does not mean that members of the same sex will not be attracted to one another, but there is an assumption that there is no sexual behavior between members of the same sex.

Although these rules seem super strict, people find ways to get around them, just like any other rule. There are spots on campus known for hooking up, and rumors spread fast and wide about what has happened and when. My main concern regarding secretly hooking up has to do with contraception. Our school is not providing contraception to students since we are not supposed to be having sex, but then what is happening to the students that are sneaking around? Are they having unprotected sex, or are they being responsible enough to go to the store to buy condoms? What about the students who are having sex and do not have a car to travel off campus? Our college does have values about not engaging in premarital sex, and providing condoms would go against the values of the school. Students understand this before they decide to attend. My hope is that my peers are thinking about the consequences of their choices and understand the long lasting effects that their decisions will have on their future if they are not having safer sex.

Hook Up on Your Own Terms

We all feel the pressure from our peers to have sex, and no matter what college you decide to attend, the pressure will be there. There is also a natural internal pressure and desires that occur as you go through puberty, which are normal. But you are still in control of your decisions. Having urges is one thing, but your decision regarding how you handle them is another. You should have sex on your terms and when you are ready, not when you feel that your peers tell you that it’s your time. It may seem that everyone is having sex, but less than half of high school students have had sex, according to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention. Whatever you decide, just remember that there is so much more to the college experience than having sex, so stand tall and enjoy your time!

Jen is a national contributor from Massachusetts.

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