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Asexual? Aromantic? Here’s Why Representation Matters

By , 19, Contributor Originally Published: January 30, 2025 Revised: January 30, 2025

Identifying as LGBTQIA+* often means not seeing yourself and your identity reflected in the media you watch, read and love. If you’re the “A” part—asexual (“ace”), aromantic (“aro”) or both (“aroace”)—this can feel especially true.

I recently had the pleasure of talking to young people who identify somewhere on the asexual and aromantic spectrums about aroace representation in media. What does it mean to them?

What Are Asexuality and Aromanticism?

First off, let’s clarify what asexual and aromantic mean. Keep in mind there is fluidity within these identities!

People who identify as asexual “may have little interest in engaging in sexual activities, even though they may desire emotionally intimate relationships,” according to the Trevor Project. There is also the “demisexual” label, where sexual attraction is only felt once there’s a strong emotional connection with another person. Some people may also identify as “graysexual,” where they fall in between asexual and “allosexual” (people who feel sexual attraction toward others).

Aromanticism is different from asexuality. When someone identifies as aro, they are typically not interested in a romantic connection. Those who are aro can be “demiromantic,” “grayromantic” and more. Also, you can be asexual without being aromantic and vice versa.

“It’s a really underrepresented group,” says Isa (she/her), 20, of Houston. “Discussions of romance and love are often intertwined with sexuality or sex in general, and I don’t usually feel those feelings….I feel like there needs to be more representation of loving relationships that don’t require a sexual component.”

Yes! Isa brings up an important point. Read on to hear more about the need for representation.

Representation and Affirmation

When it comes to aroace representation in media like movies, TV and books, it varies from being explicitly stated to implied. There has been an increase in recent years, although it’s still not common.

In my conversations, some of the aroace characters people mentioned were Todd from BoJack Horseman, Ca$h from Heartbreak High, Isaac from Heartstopper, Lilith from The Owl House, Florence from Sex Education, Peridot from Steven Universe and Georgia from Loveless, a book by Alice Oseman. Whether explicit or not, representation is an important tool for self-discovery. Characters going through similar relationship experiences or lack thereof can provide affirmation for viewers/readers and a better understanding of who they are.

“I have never felt better represented in a piece of media than I did when reading Loveless,” says Jessica (they/she), 18, of England. “It really helped me with coming to terms with my own identity, because if there are other people out there who feel the same way I do then it must be a normal way to feel.”

Media Representation

As Jessica said, having representation of your identity can be validating. The opposite can leave people feeling isolated and alone. “I feel invisible at times,” says Bailey (he/she/they), 18 of San Antonio, TX. “It took me forever to even realize I was aromantic. I think I’d feel better if I saw representation of my identity.”

Aroace characters can also serve as education. “Representation can teach people about identities they didn’t know about before,” says Ari (he/him), 15, of MD. “It can lead to self-discovery and is an important step in an identity becoming societally recognized and accepted.”

Others agree about the importance of raising awareness. “A lot of people don’t understand or have the chance to understand my identity because they don’t hear much about it,” says Ava (she/they), 18, Riverside, CA. “When I bring it up to people, I tend to face a lot of misunderstanding and confusion. With more representation in media for ace people, this can actively be combatted!”

We Aren’t Broken

Many of the people I heard from mentioned that media representation can make a huge difference. “We know that we aren’t alone and we aren’t broken for feeling the way we feel,” says Asher (he/him), 18, of Parkton, MD, about seeing aroace characters.

That feeling of being “broken” was mentioned by multiple teens. Having media representation “helps to show there’s nothing wrong or broken about us,” says Caspian (he/it), 17, Fairfax, VA. “There are plenty of ways to love someone and they are all equal in value! Representation helps display that. It shows people they aren’t alone, and that their experiences are normal!”

Others mention the importance of showing characters who may feel pressured to behave in certain ways just because they feel like they “should.” “It’s important that we have aroace representation,” says Bailey. “Not only for the a-spec (asexuality spectrum) people who want to feel seen, or the a-spec kids who don’t have the words for what they’re going through, but for everyone out there who feels obligated to be in a romantic/sexual relationship, even if it’s something they don’t truly want.”

Belonging and Joy

When you don’t see yourself in media, you can feel alienated and like you don’t belong. It’s important that the media accurately reflects the world. Addressing this lack of representation will hopefully help reduce stigma.

“Having aroace representation in media such as books and TV can be really important as it allows people to see themselves represented where previously they wouldn’t have been able to,” says Jessica. “That can bring people a lot of joy.”

Exactly. Doesn’t everyone deserve to feel that sense of belonging and joy?

 

*LGBTQIA+ stands for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer/Questioning, Intersex and Asexual/Aromantic

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