Are we ready for sex?
I care about you, and I can tell you care about me. I like being close, and I want us to decide what we want to do together. I’m comfortable_____________, but I don’t want to _________________ right now. What are you comfortable with? I just want you to be honest about what you do or don’t want. We can keep talking about this so if either of our feelings changes we can figure out what to do then.
(It’s important to be clear with your partner about what you do or don’t want to do. You get to say what you’re comfortable doing, whether that’s kissing only or touching with clothes on or off or more. You also get to say what you’re not ready for. Being very clear about this will help avoid any confusion. You can also discuss sexual history, meaning if your partner has had oral, anal or vaginal sex and whether he or she has been tested or treated for an STD. You may decide to get tested together if you or your partner has had sex before.)
(If you and your partner discuss having oral, anal or vaginal sex, then you’ll need to say something like the following.)
We also need to talk about safer sex and how we’re going to protect ourselves from STDs and/or pregnancy. We don’t have to decide everything right now, but we do need to start talking about this so we can find a way to do what’s healthy for both of us.