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worriedgirl101

Loyal Poster

Posts: 12

Joined: Mar 2010

first time

Ok, had sex for the first time a few days ago, it was a really big deal for me, we were safe and everything so I'm not worried about that.
Anyway, it was kinda nice, but not exactly brilliant, even though it was for the guy.
I didn't orgasm, and I never do when he fingers me etc either, and it's really frustrating cos I WANT to do it, and I'm attracted to him etc.
Any tips on how to make it a better experience?

Author:

CJT

Site Sex Expert

Posts: 840

Joined: Jul 2009

RE: first time

Hi worriedgirl101,

Have you ever had an orgasm on your own? If not, that might be somewhere to start. Exploring your own body can help you learn what feels good for you, and once you have more of a sense of what feels good for you then you can share that with your partner so that your partner can help share in that pleasure.

Author:

worriedgirl101

Loyal Poster

Posts: 12

Joined: Mar 2010

RE: first time

Yes, I can always do it myself, and I tried talking him through what to do, but still nothing great...?

Author:

CJT

Site Sex Expert

Posts: 840

Joined: Jul 2009

RE: first time

Hi worriedgirl101,

It sounds like you're taking some good steps to try to get more comfortable with your partner. Have you asked him what he might need, or if there's a particular kind of guidance that would be useful to him? It might just be that you need some time together before things start to click. We sometimes imagine that sex will be this perfect thing right off the bat, but it actually takes work for people to get to know each other, get more comfortable with each other, and learn about what each person likes. Try to be patient with that process! If you find that things are not working for you, you can decide whether this is something you want to keep working on or if it's going to be a deal-breaker for you. No matter what you decide, I think it's important to keep talking with your partner about what you'd like and what feels good so that he can be an active part of that process and learning more about you.

Author:

worriedgirl101

Loyal Poster

Posts: 12

Joined: Mar 2010

RE: first time

Meh, we've broken up now anyway unfortunately...
Oh well, these things happen, I'll remember all this for the future Smile
Thanks.

Author:

bubyzo

Loyal Poster

Posts: 18

Joined: Sep 2009

RE: first time

maybe the tention between u guys was too much, when ur nervous about sex it can affect ur ability to orgasim. but then again it took the ryt guy to make me orgasim, id had minor orgasims but never anything that lasted, untill i got with this one guy, i dont wana name him so we can call him tim. it was amazing with him an i had a sexual sensation iv never had before, sometimes the right people and how comfortable you are with them has alot to do with things too.

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